Sunday, February 20, 2011

If I Owned a Freezer

O if only I owned a freezer,
my life would be much easier.

I would stock up on ice cream for the summer
and lemon torte to satisfy my hunger.
I’d store chips, peas and chicken for my supper
and for guests; an array of food fodder.

O yes, I think life would be much simpler,
if only I owned a freezer.


  1. Loving the semi-rhyme of Freezer and Easier. It makes me happy.

    The rhythm is a bit off in line four, I think that cheeky three syllabled 'satisfy' is to blame. Rhyme and metre are usual bedfellows (though you wouldn't know it from the appalling metre in some of my poems!) but if you want to mess with the rhythm, do it in more than one line so it seems more deliberate. Does that make sense? -x-

  2. Line four angers me. I can't think of another word to shove in there that will help keep the rhythm (and the theasurus is most unhelpful). I'm sure it'll come to me eventually.

  3. Oh, and the ryhme of 'freezer' and 'easier' came to me whilst I was trying to fix the house freezer. So I was all, 'I should put that is a poem.'

  4. All the best ideas come to an idle mind. Or a mind preoccupied with other things. The fourth line does not spoil the poem in any sense, so don't worry about it. It's difficult to marry meaning and lexical choice at the best of times, without the harsh mistress of rhyme getting in on the act.
    (by the way, I commented on your comment on my blog :)