Abduction

When you are fatter,
you are harder to abduct:
Too heavy to lift.

The Frustrated Parent Haiku

"Let it go! Let it-"
Oh shut the fuck up, Elsa.
Turn this bullshit off.

Uninspired Poetry 14

Dearest Hayfever,
One does find it hard to breath.
Kindly do fuck off.

Uninspired Poetry 13

"Fire!

It's dangerous

and it can spread quickly!"

Said Mr St John Ambulance.

He's dead.

Uninspired poetry 12

Bright lights - white lights flash

as conversed clad feet appear.

The crowd roar and dance.

Uninspired Poetry 11

Electricity.

We're connected always by

the red string of fate.

Uninspired Poetry 10: The Film Edition - part 2

Bend It Like Beckham
Bend it like Beckham!
Mum thinks she's a lesbian.
Turns out she isn't.

Pirates of the Caribbean
Some enchanted coins.
Some enchanted skeletons.
Where has the rum gone?

Atonement
Young girl tells a lie.
Keira wears fancy dresses.
Tube floods and she dies.